Monday, July 13th, 4:21am
It took me a few minutes to properly wake up. Plus I had to pee. And change my itchy contacts. And check on Amerite (asleep). Once all that was taken care of I trudged to the director’s cabin feeling scared and sick. Tawny was sleeping standing up in the front hall. I saw Cactus on the couch sound asleep too. Melissa and Onyx were both just past Tawny in the hallway, looking ready to drop.
“You’ve been interrogating him?” I asked, confused.
“He physically assaulted Amaranth the day before she disappeared, and he made indications of wanting to physically assault Domino the day before she died,” Onyx answered as he tried to stop a yawn. “Amaranth was definitely murdered. And Tom is our promise suspect.”
“Annnd you want me to talk to him?”
“No,” Melissa said flatly. “But he says the only person he’ll talk to you is you. Dunno why, he shut up after making his demands.”
I looked at the bedroom door. “No. I–he’ll attack me!”
“He’s tied up.”
“What?”
“He’s tied up,” Onyx repeated. “Melissa tied one of his arms to one of the bed frame.”
I looked back at the door, head pounding. “He hates me. I hate him. Why–?”
“I don’t know, I told you he just shut up,” Melissa said impatiently. “Get an answer from him. If he tries to hurt you just shout.” She opened the door and gave me a nudge inside.
I stumbled a bit and flinched when the door swung shut behind me. Shit. I chanced a look towards the bed. Tom sat there looking ready to kill. Possibly again. Had he really murdered Amaranth? Tied her up? I would have believed it last night but after getting some sleep it just seemed strange.
I rubbed the inside of one of my arms awkwardly. “You wanted to talk to me?”
“Come closer.”
“Hell no!”
Tom glowered. “I’m not gonna fucking touch you, bastard. I just don’t want those assholes to listen in.”
I took a few steps then a few more, not sure how long the cord holding him could go. Or if it would even hold him down. It looked so thin. “So, what?”
He met my nervous gaze with an angry one. “I. Didn’t. Touch. Them.”
“Excuse me?”
“I didn’t fucking touch them!” he snarled. “All right, so I did fucking touch the loony tune one, I grabbed her ass. But I didn’t kill her. Everyone says I fucking killed her and I didn’t. They only say it because they hate me.”
“Um. Have you, uh, told them?”
“Of course I fucking told them but they won’t believe me!” Now Tom glared at the door. “That freaky computer bitch and the fat tub of lard. He acts like he’s leader but he’s not, he shouldn’t be.” Tom spat on the floor and I cringed back in disgust. “All of them out there are all fucking psycho. It’s a damned witch hunt, that’s what it is.”
My confusion just grew. “And telling me this helps because…?”
He stood up and I backed up some more. “You helped me. You brought me bandages and pain killers. You’ll help me now, you’re the only asshole here who will. So help me, all right? But I’m not gay.”
“Excuse me?!”
“Look, whatever disgusting crush you have on me–“
“Oh, no. No. Oh Maker no!” I actually felt some bile rise at those words. “In what messed up universe could you even begin to think I’d like you?! You’re the rudest, meanest, coldest piece of shit I’ve ever met and trust me, I’ve met quite a few.”
This didn’t seem to phase him at all. “Why else would you help me?” he asked in a ‘duhhh’ sort of voice. “You’re a faggot. Faggots like muscles. Hey, I get it. Loads of babes back home want my dick.”
“Oh Maker I am gonna vomit.” I turned to the door and reached the handle.
“Wait! Don’t fucking go! I need your help, you fucktard!”
I spun around at that, cheeks flaming with anger. “Okay first of all, asshole, if you’re asking for help the best route isn’t to freaking insult the person you’re asking help from. Second of all, I would rather skinned alive and forced to eat my own eyeballs than ever–ever–even think about you in any sort of–ew!”
“What the hell? I’m sexy!”
“Okay if I had a gun to my head and told to choose between you or death, I’d choose death. Any day. ” The words came out before I even realized what I was saying. “L–look, Tomato. You’re a disgusting piece of pig shit and I am done with this conversation. I am going to go vomit now.”
Tom jumped to his feet as I went for the handle. “I’m innocent, you tell them you bastard, I’m innocent I didn’t fucking kill no one, you’re all just fucking bigots! Just cause I’m red, you think I’m fucking evil!” I had the door open now so Melissa and Onyx could easily hear all this. Tom didn’t stop though. “It happens all the time! Reds are hated by everyone! We’re associated with evil and so you assholes think I killed that crybaby bitch and that loony tunes! I didn’t! I DIDN’T!”
I slammed the door shut and fell against the far side of the wall, clutching my stomach. I feebly indicated the other door and croaked out, “Bathroom?” Melissa nodded so I ran in and I fell down, not vomiting but feeling like I would. Especially when I remembered what I had said. About choosing death.
I slid down even more to the floor and sniffled. I didn’t want to think about what Tom thought about me (ugggghh!) so instead I focused on the possibility that he had killed Amaranth… and possibly Domino as well. Holly hadn’t seen any evidence but that didn’t mean Tom hadn’t. Or maybe he tried and it got out of hand and killed her before he could, and dumped the machine on her. But why tie up Amaranth and put her in the freezer? She had died with tears on her face, she had frozen to death.
Maybe… Tom hadn’t done any sexual to them and just got his jollies from hurting them, from killing them. There were people like that. Or maybe he didn’t hurt them. Maybe Domino’s was an accident, but someone killed Amaranth.
I got up and left the bathroom. Hoping I could fall back asleep. Nobody tried to stop me as I left the director’s cabin. I walked through the darkness to the boys’ cabin and found it mostly empty except for Amerite who slept in his bed with my blanket. I just collapsed into my bed and eventually fell back asleep still fully dressed.
*
I didn’t get much shuteye at that point. I woke up after about an hour and a half when Amerite woke up. He made really quiet sort of whimpery-crying sounds that meant he didn’t want to wake me up. But he didn’t apologize when I got out of bed thankfully.
“You hungry?” I asked. “I know you haven’t eaten anything.”
“She’s dead. She’s gone.”
“Yeah.”
“Tom killed her.” I didn’t respond to that. Amerite got out of his bed and looked down at his rumpled clothing. “He killed her,” he repeated, waiting for me to say something. “Where is he?”
“Being watched, by Melissa and Tawny. Onyx tried talking to him last night.” I raked my fingers through my hair. “I talked to him too.”
“What he say?”
“That he’s innocent.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
I turned away, biting back my response. No, I didn’t know it. Was it likely? Yes. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? Except we were stuck here with nobody to prove his guilt. Or innocence.
Amerite grabbed my arm a bit roughly. “You know he did it, right?”
“No,” I confessed and Amerite’s dull eyes widened. “He’s a total asshole but–“
“Who else woulda done it?!”
I held my hands up defensively. “I don’t know! I think if one of us did it, most likely it’d be him but… I mean…”
“What someone just waltzed in through the barriers and murdered Amaranth?!” he demanded very angrily.
I was about to say no. Instead I shrugged. “Maybe. W–wait!” I added as he looked somehow more pissed off. “There could very well be someone else here. In the woods. That we don’t know about.” That sudden revelation took hold in my mind. “Why not?”
“That..” Amerite trailed off and staggered back. “That seems ridiculous. Or not. Oh, Maker, my head hurts.”
“Why don’t you go rest–“
“I’ve been resting! All I’m doing is resting. It’s… been… twelve hours?” He looked at me for confirmation. “Twelve hours. Shit. It feels like a lifetime.” He found his glasses and put them on. They didn’t do much to make him look better. “Twelve hours, is that really it? Twelve hours without her.” He leaned back against the wall, staring at nothing. “I cannot survive twelve hours without her. How will I survive twelve days? Weeks?” He adjusted his glasses slowly. “Years?”
“I don’t know. I’m so sorry, Amerite, I–I wish I could…” Do something? Help him? “If you need some food I can go get–“
“When a person is in grief, ply that person with food. That is the typical motto for the general public, yes? Oh, Winter, I’m sorry. You are merely trying to help and I am allowing my anger to lash out at you.”
“Amerite, no, there’s no need to apologize. I know you’re suffering right now, I take zero offense to you acting like this.”
“You are far too good for this place, Winter.”
I cocked my head to one side but before I could ask what he meant the door opened. Hydi came in with a tray full of food. “I heard voices and figured you guys needed something.” She held the tray up with a very, very faint smile.
“Thank you,” I said, taking the tray. Amerite remained silent. “It’s pretty early for you to be fixing breakfast, isn’t it?”
“I haven’t been able to sleep, honestly. Amerite–I’m so sorry. Amaranth is… was… a really sweet girl…”
Amerite’s eyes flickered her way. “Thank you, Hydrangea, I really appreciate that.” He inhaled deeply, his head thumping back gently against the wall, his eyes closing. “I’d like to be alone again. Winter. I–“
“It’s fine, I understand.” I went over and squeezed his arm before leaving the cabin with Hydi who promptly broke down in tears the moment the door shut. She flung herself into my arms and sniveled out apologies as her tears soaked my shirt. I gave her as much comfort as I could manage. Finally she peeled away and tottered back to the mess hall. I didn’t know how she could still be in the kitchens with Domino and Amaranth in the freezer. I never wanted to go in there again.
*
Cosmic and Piper wouldn’t be coming in till the next day after they were done following the wall. When I found out I felt a bit aggravated (I mean the wall would still be there) until Onyx explained to me the reason. Apparently it would be quicker to continue following the wall instead of making a direct dash back.
“I guess the wall follows a pretty flat-ish pathway around this place?” Onyx said. “If they came back now they’d have to climb over the mountains over there, or hills, or whatever they are. It will be just as quick… or quicker… if they finish along the wall and meet up with Mojito at the road.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Yeah. They’ll get there sometime in the morning or early afternoon.”
I had nothing to do. No chores to do, even, since we hadn’t drawn names for today. We hadn’t even been watching the road. Amaranth’s disappearance had sort of stopped that. I figured we’d go back to things soon enough. Probably tomorrow. In the mean time, however…
I found Onyx and asked if there was anything needed to be done around the camp. I didn’t want anything too laborious or gross (like cleaning toilets) but something small I could do without too much trouble. He suggested laundry. Great! I could do that. So I went around collecting things that needed washing. Then I found Holly who could help me figure out the washer and dryer. I had never really done laundry before. I figured it’d be easy enough and there were instructions on the machines. Since we had a big load we chose to use the industrial room and not the generic room. That’s what Holly called them. There were two laundry rooms. One had a normal sized washer and dryer, and one had a humongous washer and dryer. Industrial.
“Wait, won’t the colors mix together?” I asked.
Holly stared at me. “Crap, you’re right.”
So we moved stuff to the other room and did several small loads. It was actually kinda nice. Something about the rhythm of folding laundry made me feel calm and not too worried or freaked out. Holly and I talked while we worked.
“I used to be on the swimming team back home,” she said as I carefully folded a shirt making sure there weren’t too many wrinkles. “I’ve always loved swimming, you know? I was kicked off though.”
“How come? Er, if that’s not too personal a question.”
Holly smiled. “It’s fine. I got into relationship that, ah, the school decided wouldn’t be very good for an athletic representative to be in. Once we were caught, I mean. We tried to hide it but we were caught.”
“A girl? Or someone from a rival school?”
“Neither. He’s blue.” Holly laughed. “Ironically I did go on a couple dates with a girl, a cheerleader. But she was red. The school didn’t care. But someone from a different part of the rainbow? They flipped. I was kicked off the swimming team and he was kicked off the debate team.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Debate team?”
“Yeah,” she said and began laughing with me. “Total geek for politics. Wants to make the world a better place.” She looked over at Hydi’s folded clothes. “So a blue and a red can be together without issue.”
“You can be together in some parts of the country.”
“Not easily. No matter where you go there will be prejudice, Winter. Mixed rainbows? They’re just treated like someone undeserving. Someone not worth the same as a ‘true rainbow’. Dark looks, bullying, all of that. It happens. No matter what. The world just seems to still want what we’re doing using the smaller washer and dryer.” She waved her hand around the room. “Colors to stay pristine, not all mixed together. Even here, I bet the half the kids here feel that way.”
“I think my mother would rather me be dead than me dating someone outside the white spectrum. She’s incredible into the true rainbow thing.”
“Loads of people are.”
I returned to focusing on folding clothes, wanting to keep that stuff out of my head right now. Didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to deal with it. But it was too late. The thought had crept into my brain.
My mother would do anything to keep everything perfect and not ’embarrassing’. She didn’t love me. Van didn’t like me. I–well–embarrassed them. And now here I was, locked up away from them. It couldn’t be possible she had known about this. It couldn’t. A camp for manners and etiquette though? That turned out to be bullshit? I angrily folded a pair of pants hoping that Holly couldn’t see the emotions crossing my face as the truth finally dawned on my stupid brain.
My mom had most likely fucking sent me here to be locked up forever.
~*~
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campwildberry 